The Voyages of Brendan

The Travel of Journey of Joshua T. Harvey, World Traveler, in honor of St. Brendan the Navigator

6.21.2006

The Divine Current, Of a Sort, Part 2

Yesterday’s dip in the ocean was the first bath I had taken in over a month; the shower afterwards, the first shower.

Now, before you judge the disgusting nature of not bathing for a week, consider this: as soon as I stopped bathing, even the mosquitoes wouldn’t come near me. As Helene and Ted drained whole bottles of “Off,” pouring toxic chemicals onto their bodies, I have only been bitten five or six times in two or three days. Plus, now I can say that I went a whole week without a shower. Though, still, having done so, I am not really falling prey to their annoying assaults. If truth be told, I have been using daily no-water hair rinse that they use in hospitals, and, strangely, in space shuttles. Needless to say, I was not walking around with matted hair smelling like a street bum. The smell of Port-au-Prince, the mixture of burning trash and hot air mixed with diesel fumes, is still a bit more overpowering than would be possible for a human being to conquer.

Ted left today. It is sad to see him go. We had a great talk last night about what we had learned and what lessons we will be taking back with us. His departure also leaves a renewed blockage in the language barrier, so I will have to become more proficient at Kreyol.

In honor of his departure and the memories of our time together, I have begun the new series:

Things You Can Only See in Haiti

An anti-AIDS commercial during World Cup games which pits team “La Vi” (Life) vs. “SIDA” (“AIDS” in Kreyol). Winning members of team “Life” are “Abstinans”, “La Fidelite” (a two person combo) and “Kapot”. I will leave “Kapot” up to your imagination or your Kreyol dictionaries—Catholics do not speak of such things.
In rush hour, people pulling around concrete barriers to pass sitting traffic—by driving headfirst into the oncoming lane, often with police watching. (Seen it, not done it…yet…)
Speeding around a police car that has stopped, veering into oncoming traffic and playing chicken with a United Nations vehicle coming towards you. (I was not driving, but I was there.)
A supermarket brand of bread named “Hard Bread,” which is exactly quite soft and tasty.
A tap-tap, the Haitian bus equivalent, somehow straddling a concrete barrier in the middle of the road, blocking a lane of traffic in both directions, midair. At night.
A shortage of the national beer, Prestige, because the factory exported all of it to Germany for the World Cup.
5 traffic lights in a city of over two million people that occasionally work.
Neon yellow butter that does not have to be refrigerated. Neon.
A gas-station named “The Station of the Immaculate Conception”.
Street merchants selling Ziploc-sized bags of water.
Sweet potato pie, or “pan potat,” as made by Ted’s aunt, so excellent in taste and texture that one member of the house attached the following message to it: “This is like the afterglow of sex: gentle, warm, and radiant—and it leaves you wanting just a little more. Oh, and it took only two minutes to feel that way.” Since we are all Catholics here and therefore do not know of such indiscretions to describe them in such detail, I will not name names. Or as the Haitians say, “Chat konnen, rat konnen, et mourik mais rete la.”
An Internet café that is also a brothel. Or a brothel at which you can access the Internet. Didn’t go, but two guys staying here did. For the Internet.

Today I also realized we should have instituted a running count of electricity hours, sort of a running meter of when the power is actually on. It is such a big deal for us. Whole minutes have been wasted wondering, out loud, when exactly the electricity will come on. We have considered placing bets and running numbers. It is normal for someone to cry “Ay Day Ash” (or “EDH,” the Electrical Department of Haiti, in Kreyol) when it comes on, or to ask, “Kote ou ye, EDH?” (“Where are you, EDH?”). Spontaneous songs have even been created about this mysterious force, the EDH. So, in the spirit of pointless lists, I have instituted the EDH Meter.

Behold, the mighty Meter of EDH:

EDH: 11PM-6AM

It comes on during the night, so all numbers represent the previous day’s cross-over to the current day; it may also include any random day-light appearances of this Electric Phantom from the previous day. We have considered building a shrine so that we may appease it and harness its energy for the air conditioners while sleeping. Like a Golden Idol of Electric Pole, or The Totem of AC Outlets. So far no shrine has been erected, but its power over us (literally) has proven it to be a Haitian lwa, or vodoun spirit, at the least. Hence, its own daily record.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home